Are you looking for a roadmap
If youíre like most people dealing with stress, trauma, and relationship issues, youíre looking for ways to calm your body, relax your nervous system, and feel in safe in your own skin.
Years ago, when I first designed and created the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills Groups, my colleague, Janina Fisher, referred all her clients to the group. She said her clients get better faster after taking the group.
I want the same for you.
I want you to have the experience of calming your body, soothing your heart and training your mind to go where you want it to go instead of where your history propels you.
Healing from painful histories is hard. Thatís true. It takes longer than any of us would ever want it to.
I know the experience well. Truth is, when my memories first came up I asked my therapist at the time, Rachel Brier, how long it would take to ďlick this Ė get over it? After all, Iím an Aries.Ē I said with utmost confidence. ďIím used to making things happen quickly.Ē
I remember the look on Rachelís face. It went a little blank, in that perfect therapist fashion. Rachel gently put the question back on me, ďHow long do you think it will take?"
Gosh, that moment feels so fresh in my mind! I replied with ease, ďOh, I figure I can do this in 6 months.Ē (I can hear you laughing!)
Well, as you can imagine, it look a few more months, many more months that added up to many years.
It was during those years that I kept you in mind.
Sounds funny doesnít it? Itís true though. It wasnít enough for me to do this for myself.
I was absolutely committed to finding a way through for myself so that I could lend a hand to others who were struggling.
The Becoming Safely Embodied Skills are the result of my figuring out how to do exactly that: become safely embodied again. Over the last 15 years itís been an honor to know that the skills are helpful to others as well.
How I came up with all this
Before my memories came up I was living a really active life, in my body all the time, cycling about 250 miles a week in the mountains and hills of the Berkshires, doing yoga and meditation every day, swimming 4-5 times a week intensively, and running every day. I loved it. Loved being in my body.
That all changed when my memories came up. It was like I hit a brick wall, no longer wanting to do anything. In fact I was running away from being anywhere near my body. Where before I enjoyed the ease that came being active or deep in meditation I now encountered a cesspool when I slowed down and tried to go inside. I felt like a burn victim Ė my skin raw, no longer holding back the roiling, overwhelming, inflamed experience that I lived in inside. It was horrible.
Over the years I had great therapy from some wonderful therapists. They helped me put the pieces together again.
I found though, that as wonderful as my therapists were, there were many, many, sometimes torturous hours between each therapy session. I battled with myself daily, trying to figure out what the heck was going on and how I could find my way through.
I wonít bore you with all the details, but the sum of all the years of healing became the Becoming Safely Embodied skills.
I first launched the group in the Boston area in the late 1990ís.
Over the years Iíve had at least one group a year. Then as the demand grew I often had multiple groups happening at the same time often with the help of Janina Fisher who co-led groups with me.
It was a joy to see people to getting the help they were looking for Ė and getting better as a result of the skills and the work they were doing with their individual therapist.
Since then Iíve gotten phone calls and emails from people wanting to know if a group was near them. Many people are lucky to find therapists throughout the US, Canada, Ireland, and the UK who have been trained to lead the Becoming Safely Embodied groups. I get emails from many of you and Iím moved by the stories of your healing.
Hereís a video of the Chicago, Illinois therapist Michelle Rieff as she talks about using the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills with one of her clients. Although the skill Michelle and her client used in the therapy session produced incredible results quickly they donít always have that immediate a result. One key component that helped this client was that the client used the skill multiple times on her own between sessions.
Yet, there are others who donít have Becoming Safely Embodied groups nearby, or for whom the times donít work or itís too threatening to go to a group where your professional cover might be breached.
This transformational journey may be for you.
I wanted a way to support you to have the full healing that is possible. The benefits of doing the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills Course are many:
Many people find the community spirit that grows through the course to be one of the key ingredients to their healing.
In addition I actively connect with anyone who wants to in the course to support them in adapting the skills to their lives, in their own way. Hereís what one person wrote after participating in one of the courses:
What you will get out of this?
Iíve culled the essential Becoming Safely Embodied skills to give you the basics. I just finished teaching the Embodied Practices Course to heart-warming results from people.
Six-Week Becoming Safely Embodied
The full six week Becoming Safely Embodied Transformational Journey is about giving you step by step guidance to allow you to live in your life, differently. As you practice, you will make steps forward in your healing.
Letís go through how these Becoming Safely Embodied skills will guide you to a calmer body, an easier mind, and a more relaxed nervous system
Click here to watch the short video
The Becoming Safely Embodied Skills 6 week Course:
1. What the Heck's Going On In There?
Knowing the basics of how your history affects your body, mind, heart, and soul will give you some perspective and begin the process of creating organization out of the inner chaos.
Most of us, when weíre overwhelmed by life get really jumbled inside. It all feels like a big mess. We canít slow down our mind, our thoughts race, our bodies, well, itís usually our nerves feel like they are going to explode out of our skin. Or the only recourse is to shut down, crawl into our beds and not come out again.
The specific skill of this section explores the basic building blocks of each and every moment and gives ways to untangle the moment so we can feel grounded and steady.
2. Separating Facts from Feelings
With an understanding of some of the basic brain functions weíll explore how to create more internal space by how we can put a wedge into overwhelming experience.
3. Working with Parts of Ourselves
A helpful tool to understanding your internal psychology is to develop abiding and integrating relationships with the various parts of you that are holding different perspectives, interests, memories, all holding a positive intent to protect, serve, and guard against painful internal and external intrusions. The more we are able to do that the more we can sit in our true nature: calm, compassionate, kind, considerate, caring, thoughtful. The positive qualities are endless and worthy of cultivating.
4. Dealing with Our Parallel Lives: identifying and calming triggers
This is one of the skills people tell me they use over and over again: learning how to deconstruct the triggering that happens. One of the most painful realities is when you get triggered, when youíre catapulted into fear, terror, panic, or have to numb against something. As you use the Parallel Lives to map out your internal psychological territory youíll find yourself less prone to being ambushed.
5. Finding Choice Points
One of the best news of all time is when you know you can alter the course of your lives, by that I mean you learn that youíre not stuck. This module in the Becoming Safely Embodied Course helps you learn to harness your energy and go where you want to go instead of being propelled somewhere by your history.
6. Dropping into the Stream of Life: Letting Go of the Old Stories Ė Finding New Ones
Have you ever heard yourself talking about something in your life and it feels like youíve said it so many times? Itís like a story that has got more juice the more youíve told it.
Well, this section of the course is about releasing those old stories and finding new stories that are motivating and propel you into the life you want.
Hereís how youíll get the course:
6 hour-long live calls chock full of the material gathered over the last 15 years of working with the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills. Youíll get the most up to date information on how I use the skills. The calls will be loaded with questions and comments from you that Iíll gather each week.
Private, confidential, secure blog
The BSE skills blog is a place to explore with others, to get feedback from me, post your comments, questions, thoughts, and experiences.
The lively conversation there helps create an ongoing conversation for practice between sessions, helping you to integrate between each session. This will give you as the support you need to take what you learn and put it into practice in your life.
And, of course, there's support
Each week Iíll be inviting you to check in with me about how your practice is progressing and to ask any questions that have come up for you. I want you to apply the skills to your life. Youíll get that by being engaged with the material while in the middle of your life.
Youíll have my full attention.
Youíll also have access to me through email between sessions where you can ask additional questions. Iíll answer either on the calls or on the blog.
Iíll be responding directly to your questions and comments. I want you to experience the benefits of these skills. Iíll be right there with you to help!
Youíll have the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills Course delivered to you for six Fridays in a row, one session at a time. Youíll get the material and be able to work on it when it works for you.
My goal is to help you learn the skills to have the life you want and to be with you as you apply the skills to your life. I want to you feel free to ask questions and to find ways to make the skills your own.
Feel free to email me if you want more information or if you have questions you want answered.
(Oh, yeah. There are two small points I have to tell you.
Hereís what is included in the
Ready to live more comfortably and easily in your own body?
Join us for the Becoming Safely Embodied Skills Course.
With my heart full of love and blessings